I’m back in Nepal for a while. I wanted to slow down, observe more and talk less. I wanted to absorb the human side of things. Today that intention paid off in a way I didn’t expect.

I was at Himalayan Java, a popular coffee chain here, waiting for friends. Turns out we miscommunicated and they were at a different branch.

A server had already come to my table, handed me the menu and smiled. I realised I had a choice to just leave without a single word. She would figure it out eventually.

Most people would do exactly that and honestly most software engineers especially. We are wired to miss the social clues.

I didn’t.

I waited for her to come back, told her my friends were at the wrong branch and apologised for taking up her time. She smiled and said bye, that’s it.

On the way back to home, I kept thinking about that moment. Why did I bother?

I think I know. It is not complicated. I would want someone to do that for me, if I were the one carrying menus and taking orders, a small acknowledgment from a stranger would make that moment better.

Just a small act of asking yourself how would I want to be treated here. That’s it. And sometimes the answer tells you more about yourself than years of introspection.

I am a reflective dev. I am interested in the human side of software engineers, not just what we build but who we are while building it. If that resonates, I would love to hear your story. Say hi to me on Linkedin.

I was questioning my worth every single day. At some point, that became my default setting. Waking up uncertain, restless, hard on myself.

Now I feel calm and composed. I observe my thoughts mindfully. I used to get irritated by them, used to fear them. Now I let them pass the way they come. I understood their nature. They are just doing their job, bringing what is present in the mind to our attention.

That shift did not happen on its own. Here are the five things helping me get better every day.

Cold Shower

I take a 30-second cold shower immediately after I wake up. It has become my morning ritual. Some days before I even reach the bathroom, my mind says to take a break and go with the hot shower today. But the moment I open the tap, my brain automatically turns the handle to cold.

Meditation

I meditate twice a day, once in the morning and once at night before bed, usually for 30 minutes each. The morning session helps me start the day with clarity. The evening one is quieter. It is a chance to sit with the day’s thoughts, let them settle, and reflect on what passed.

10 Minutes Walk

Right after morning meditation, I take a 10-minute walk to feel the fresh air and catch the sun when it is out. I walk no matter the weather, rain, winter, any of it. I witness the changes in nature and feel them slowly and mindfully. There is something grounding about stepping into whatever the day has to offer.

Park

During my working break, I spend around an hour in the park. It is a habit now. Even on busy days I get at least 20 to 30 minutes of sun. The sounds of the water fountain, ducks, birds, children playing, and old people laughing together. It summarises an entire life in an hour. I feel joy just witnessing that span of it. Sometimes I laugh listening to their jokes. Sometimes I smile at a child or wave at them.

15 Minutes Reading

I read every day. I have finished 2 books this month. Some days I do not understand everything, some days I resonate with every word and feel it intensely. Either way it is stretching something in me. The ability to focus, to sit with ideas, to stay curious.

These five habits are helping me stay calm, focused and composed. They are slowly building my self-confidence back up. My mind has started believing that I can do something consistently. That if I put effort into something every day, I can build whatever I want in life.

That is not a small thing. For a while, I did not believe it at all.

Nepal is growing its presence in the global IT sector. The reason is simple, hiring a skilled team in Nepal costs much less than hiring in the West. With a young and capable workforce, the potential is real. But along with the opportunity comes a challenge that not many people talk about.

I spent several years working for companies in North America and Europe. Very few projects were completed on time. There was always tension between clients and developers. Clients kept pushing hard on deadlines. Developers kept missing them. Over time, this damaged the reputation of Nepalese software engineers.

For a long time, I thought it was a management or client problem. Classic developer thinking: the code is fine, everything else is broken 😉.

When I moved abroad, I had the chance to study cultural differences as part of my masters degree. At the time I did not realise how much that would change the way I work.

My first real test was working with French colleagues. French people are very direct. They criticise openly and immediately. Coming from an indirect culture, this felt like a personal attack every single time. I took it personally on many occasions. I went home exhausted. There was a lot of emotional pressure in those early days just from normal conversations at work.

But the training I received during my studies gave me tools to handle it. Role plays, reading about different cultures, and most importantly experiencing it firsthand every day started to change how I listened. Slowly I stopped hearing the words and started understanding what the other person actually meant. The same feedback that once felt like an attack started to feel like information.

That shift changed everything for me at work. The relationships with clients & colleagues became better. I had not become a more skilled engineer. The work was the same type of work I had done back home. The difference was that I finally understood how the other side communicated.

The real problem was never technical skill. It was communication. Both sides were using the same words but understanding them in very different ways.

Direct and Indirect Communication

Every culture has its own way of communicating. In direct cultures, people say exactly what they mean. Feedback is clear. Problems are discussed openly.

In indirect cultures, messages are softer. Criticism is not always stated clearly. Keeping good relationships is more important than being blunt.

Neither style is wrong. But when both sides do not know about this difference, misunderstandings happen.

Example: Feedback

Client: “This is not good enough.”

The client means: let us improve this and move forward.

Developer: my work is bad.

The developer loses confidence. The project slows down. The client never knew there was a problem.

Example: Deadlines

Client: “Can we deliver this by Friday?”

The developer does not want to say no. So they say: “We will try.”

The client hears: yes.

The developer means: I am not sure, but I cannot say no.

Friday comes. The work is not done. Both sides are frustrated. Neither understands why.

Why This Matters

This kind of misunderstanding does not look like a communication problem from the outside. It looks like missed deadlines, unclear requirements, and difficult clients. Both sides start to blame each other. Over time, this affects how Nepali developers are seen around the world.

The solution is not to ask developers to change who they are. The solution is awareness. Nepali IT companies need to help developers understand how western clients communicate. They also need to help clients understand how Nepali developers communicate. Both sides deserve to understand each other.

If you are a developer working with western clients right now, start small. When a client asks about a deadline and you are not sure, try saying “I need to check and confirm by tomorrow” instead of “we will try.” When a client gives you sharp feedback, try to pause before reacting and ask yourself what they are actually asking for. These small habits take time to build but they make a big difference.

Understanding the other side does not happen overnight. It took me years of practice, training, and many uncomfortable moments. But it is a skill that can be learned. That is what this series is about.

In the next post, I will look at how indirect responses to unclear requirements lead to scope creep and what developers can do about it.

This is part one of a series about communication in software teams across different cultures, written from a developer’s perspective.

I have a simple rule when choosing what to read, watch, or listen to. Is it real? Is it inspired by something that actually happened? That one filter has shaped almost everything I consume. Books, documentaries, podcasts, films. If it happened to a real person, I’m in.

A few weeks ago I started reading a book called Attached. It answered several questions I had been sitting with for a long time. About how I love, why I feel things so deeply, why connection matters to me the way it does.

This Saturday, I took a train to a small village called Auvers-sur-Oise, about an hour north of Paris, to be somewhere, to be present.

It’s the place where Van Gogh spent the last 70 days of his life. In those 70 days he painted 74 paintings. One painting per day, roughly, while everything inside him was falling apart.

I am not a painter. I don’t know how to read a painting the way someone trained in art would. But standing in that village, the narrow streets, the fields that looked exactly like the ones in his paintings, the small room where he slept, something hit me that I didn’t expect.

I recognised him. Not the genius. Not the madness. Not the stories built around broken artists. The person underneath all of that.

A man who struggled with romantic relationships his entire life. Who could not make love stay no matter how hard he tried. Who poured everything he couldn’t say out loud into his work. Without stopping. Almost like he had no choice. As if painting was the only language that never failed him.

And through all of it, his brother Theo. Who wrote to him, showed up, believed in work the world had not yet noticed. And at the very end, when Van Gogh lay dying, Theo was there holding his hand.

I thought about my sister when I read this. She is that for me. The one who sends a message on the hardest days telling me I was built for something bigger. The one who gave me a blank diary and in doing so gave me a way to speak. Pure, steady love from one person. It can hold you together in ways nothing else can.

What moved me most was not Van Gogh’s talent. It was his refusal to stop.

He was in pain. He was lonely. And every morning he picked up a brush and went back to the fields. Not because things were fine. Because he had something to say and he was going to say it anyway.

Writing these blogs has become that for me. I have learned that I need somewhere to put what I feel. Writing is how I process, how I reach out, how I stay honest with myself about where I actually am.

This Saturday in Auvers was part of the same thing. Instead of staying inside with my thoughts, I went somewhere. I stood in the fields Van Gogh painted. I breathed cold air. I was present, even for a few hours, in something larger than my own head.

He left behind one line. Words his doctor said to him, that Van Gogh wrote down in a letter and clearly could not let go of either:

“How difficult it is to be simple.”

I don’t have an answer. I’m not sure he did either. But there is something quietly reassuring in knowing that one of the greatest artists who ever lived was also just a person carrying the same questions the rest of us carry.

That is why real stories reach me. Not because they have answers. Because they prove that someone else was in the room too.

Five years ago on this date, I left.

Not dramatically. No grand speech, no clear vision of what was ahead. I just picked up my bags, said goodbye to the people I love, and walked up the staircase of an international airport carrying everything I felt hope, fear, uncertainty, courage, excitement all tangled together, none of them winning.

I didn’t know what the new life would look like. I hadn’t anticipated how it would treat me. I just knew I was leaving.

I hadn’t expected luxury. I didn’t have high hopes or big dreams. Just normal ones the kind most people have and rarely say out loud.

A simple life. A decent family. A tiny house to live in. Coffee on the terrace in the morning. Sleeping under the summer sun. A small corner to meditate. A little bookshelf. A room where friends could gather for life’s quiet, precious moments.

That was it. That was the whole dream.

5 years later, that dream is still not here. What does that actually feel like?

It makes you question everything, sometimes in the middle of the night after a terrifying dream, sometimes in the middle of the day when you’re failing at work, sometimes at dawn while taking the metro back home, staring at nothing.

Am I doing the right thing? Am I being too selfish about my career? I have one life, is it worth staying away from the people I love? Will they still be there in a year? Will I be happy a few years from now?

Is it worth crying alone during festivals? Is it worth celebrating your birthday feeling hollow the entire day? Is it worth walking alone through the hardest moments when all you needed was someone to just hold you?

These questions rise up, sit heavy on top of everything and then quietly disappear. Not because you found the answer. Because a new problem arrives and takes their place. What to prepare for tomorrow’s meeting. What to wear. Where to eat.

The biggest questions of your life, swallowed by the smallest ones.

I haven’t found the answer yet.

But then one phone call from your mom. Asking whether you woke up. Whether you ate on time. Whether something is bothering you at work. Whether you went to the office or stayed home. She doesn’t ask about your ambitions or your five year plan. She just wants to know if you’re okay today.

A text from your girlfriend asking how your day was. Telling you everything will be alright.

A message from your sister saying you were built for something bigger than this moment of doubt. That she believes in you even when you don’t.

Your little nephew asking when you’re coming back waiting for you with his remote control aeroplane, his remote control superman.

A stranger waving at you during your lunch run. Nothing more than that.

These small things. These tiny, ordinary, almost invisible things, they pull you back. They remind you that you are breathing. That you are alive. That even across the distance, even through a screen, even in a wave from a stranger, there are people who hold you. Quietly. Without making a big thing of it.

That is what kept me here.

Maybe the simple life you dreamed of, the terrace, the coffee, the tiny house maybe that’s still coming. Or maybe you’re already living something you didn’t know how to dream about back then. Not the life you painted. But a life that is teaching you to paint differently.

Five years ago, I walked up that staircase carrying hope, fear, uncertainty, courage, and excitement. All at once. I didn’t know which one would win.

I still don’t have the terrace. I still don’t have the tiny house, the bookshelf in my own corner, friends around my table on a quiet evening. The simple life I dreamed of is the one that wasn’t even ambitious & is still somewhere ahead of me.

But I’ve stopped waiting for life to get calm before I start living it. That calm is not coming. I know that now. There will always be another question at 2am, another festival spent alone, another birthday that passes quietly in a city that doesn’t know your name.

What I have instead is a mom who calls to check if I ate. A sister who believes in me on the days I don’t. A little niece waiting with a remote control aeroplane. Small things. Ordinary things. Things I didn’t think to paint on the canvas five years ago because I didn’t know yet how much they would matter.

Maybe that’s the life. Not the one you planned. Not the one you dreamed standing at the bottom of that staircase. But the one that quietly builds itself around you while you’re busy asking if it’s worth it.

I walked up that staircase alone, carrying everything I hoped for.

Five years later, I’m still walking. And somehow, that is enough.

My sister gave me this diary when I was back in Nepal in October. It’s just a blank canvas, but the effort she made to find it and give it to me at this point in my life — that’s what matters.

I had been stressed since Friday. Spiralling thoughts were bothering me and I couldn’t sleep well. This morning I woke up with a strange feeling in my body, no clear plan, but a quiet certainty that I needed to do something. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I had to get out.

I was looking at my bookshelf, hoping something would pull me in, and that’s when I found the diary. I opened it and started asking myself one question: where do I feel most alive? That question solved a million dollar puzzle. I made up my mind of solo hiking.

There’s a jungle (Forêt de Fontainebleau) near Paris, about 55km from where I live. I packed my things: sandwich, water, power bank, a RedBull, rain coat, the diary, and a pen. I left early. During the commute I planned the route, and I’ll be honest ChatGPT did most of that work. I asked it to plan a 25km hike, it suggested three stops and estimated five hours. I followed it. I’m not someone who naturally takes care of these logistics, so I’m glad about it.

I started hiking around noon and entered the deep jungle. The weather was cloudy and I could hear the crackling of trees. Several had already fallen along the path. I was scared genuinely scared one might come down on me. But as I kept moving, the fear slowly faded.

The spiralling thoughts came with me into the jungle. So did the stomach ache I had been carrying all morning. But step by step, something shifted. I started trusting the nature around me, trusting that it wouldn’t harm me. I passed young couples, old people, retired folks, people with dogs, young guys on bikes. I was not alone in there.

The dogs were harder. Every time one came toward me I quietly moved to the other side of the path. I know they were harmless, but I’ve feared dogs since childhood, a mad dog bit me once, and something from that has stayed. I’ve tried to get past it. Not yet.

I followed Google Maps to the first stop, then deliberately strayed from the path and went deeper into the jungle. At the end I had made a rough irregular loop. It was unplanned and it felt right.

Along the way I felt very alive. When I got lost in thought I pulled myself back to the sounds, the trees, the birds, the mushrooms, everything around me. For some people a winter jungle might look ugly. I love that part. A bare tree with all its leaves dropped and its branches exposed, there is something deeply honest about that. We don’t live our lives always on high. There are times we look exactly like that tree. Nature doesn’t hide it. It just keeps going.

Even for a few moments, it made me remember that I am alive. I am breathing. I am walking. I am aware.

At the end I hiked 22km without stopping. I took a detour through the city afterward, found a good place to eat, and strolled around Fontainebleau palace. On the way back, I felt lighter. Turns out, I know exactly where I feel most alive.

I did not plan to walk 32.29 kilometers. I did not plan much at all.

I woke up around 8:45 in the morning feeling anxious and stressed. That heavy feeling was already there. It reminded me of some of my worst weekends in the past. On those days, I stayed inside, trapped in my own thoughts. I kept asking myself the same questions again and again, going deeper into my thoughts but finding no answers.

Those weekends were full of frustration. I blamed others for my own actions. I felt angry at life. I kept asking myself why I felt this way and whether I was the only one who experienced this. I thought about how hard I had worked to build a better life, and then I questioned if it was worth living like this, constantly chased by my own thoughts. I was very hard on myself and often wondered why I felt so complex.

That was my usual pattern.

But last Sunday, something changed while I was making tea. It happened instantly. I felt the need to do something different. I decided to go for a long walk, without overthinking it.

I charged my phone and my watch. During the walk, I used my phone only twice. Once to take a picture, and once to stay connected with my family.

I walked for almost seven hours.

While walking, I tried to stay in the present moment. I still got lost in my thoughts many times, but each time I gently brought my attention back to where I was. I focused on each step.

I walked from my apartment toward the Eiffel Tower, following the River Seine. Along the way, I passed many famous places like the Musée d’Orsay, Saint-Michel Notre Dame, Louvre etc. I saw people from all over the world. Tourists and strangers filled the streets. When our eyes met, I exchanged smiles with them. These small moments felt warm and human.

I did not carry any water or food. Surprisingly, I did not feel tired. I kept telling myself that I had trained a lot before and that I could easily walk for many hours. That thought gave me confidence and calm.

When I reached my destination, I sat down and meditated for about 30 minutes. I enjoyed the atmosphere around me. People were talking, laughing, taking photos, and running along the river. The energy felt alive and peaceful at the same time.

At the end of the day, I felt different.

I felt alive.
I felt accomplished.
I felt proud that I had done something good for my mental and physical health.

It felt like I was planting a seed for my future.

This was the same path where I used to run last year. This time, I chose mindful walking instead. I truly enjoyed it.

I want to do this more often. It helps me reconnect with myself and recharge my energy.

Sometimes, all it takes is a simple walk to change how we feel.

We live in an age of instant gratification. We’re drawn to quick results and polished success stories, often missing the real journey behind them. At this stage of my life, I feel more connected to raw stories than to outcomes. Stories that show vulnerability, ups and downs, and the human side of growth. That’s the first reason I started this series: to inspire myself through real experiences. The second reason is to raise awareness for people who want to walk a similar career path.

Who?

This series is for anyone walking or considering a similar career path. It’s not a guide or a checklist. Its purpose is to create awareness and a human connection through story.

How?

I’ll be inviting people with similar journeys to share their unfiltered stories through a simple questionnaire format. Every story is unique and worth sharing. My hope is to keep this series alive with honesty, consistency, and authenticity.

Introduction

I was born to hardworking parents and raised in remote parts of Nepal. For a long time, I quietly believed my background had already set my limits.

I grew up feeling behind in confidence, language, exposure, and opportunity. I studied in below-average government schools. In new environments, I often felt out of place, self-conscious about my accent, hesitant to ask questions, aware of how much I didn’t know. While others moved ahead, I was learning from scratch.

Progress was slow, and it was easy for people to misunderstand that slowness. There were nights filled with doubt, moments when I wondered if this path was meant for someone like me. I kept going despite the challenges.

Today, I work at one of the world’s top 10 technology companies as a software engineer. This isn’t a story about genius or talent. It’s about patience and perseverance.

A Photo That Motivates Me

This photo was taken by my father when I was five months old. If we have met in person, you may have noticed that I smile a lot. This picture is proof that I was good at smiling from a very early age.

I even confirmed with my mother that she didn’t force me to smile for the photo. Hopefully, she didn’t lie just to make me feel happy now 🙂.

I look at this photo often. Whether I’m feeling low or happy, I try to look at it mindfully. It reminds me of who I am and gives me immense strength to push myself to become a better version of myself every day.

Where in Nepal were you born & raised?

I was born in Rukum and raised in different mid-western parts of Nepal. We are a family of six, including my parents, and I am the third child.

My father is a retired police officer, and my mother raised us. Because of my father’s job, we moved frequently whenever he was transferred. Looking back, this turned out to be a blessing. I got to explore different places, meet different people, attend different schools, and make many friends while growing up.

How were you in your childhood?

I lived a decent life growing up and faced fewer struggles compared to my eldest sister and older brother. I was very competitive from an early age and often ranked at the top of my class.

I didn’t play outdoor sports much. I spent most of my time studying, reading stories from textbooks, and listening to the radio.

Boring story 🫠, My childhood was not usual as compared to other kids. I didn’t have access to tv, comics, cartoons, video games & newspapers etc. However, I loved listening to music on the radio. My mother still says that I used to fall asleep while listening to it. There was a simple reason, radio was the most accessible and affordable form of entertainment for our family while growing up.

Education Background

I graduated in Computer Engineering from Tribhuvan University in 2014. After that, I worked for around seven years in Nepal as a software engineer. In 2021, I moved to Paris to pursue my master’s degree.

Studying engineering in Nepal back then was tough. Even today, thinking about those days gives me a stomachache. I struggled to understand many of the concepts taught in engineering school. There were very few good professors, and we often had to rely on rote learning.

Self-doubt was constant: “I am not enough, My friends understand everything, They have a stronger foundation, They graduated from elite schools. etc”.

At the same time, I always had a hunger to understand the bigger picture and dive deeper. That curiosity pushed me to ask many questions in class. When I didn’t get satisfying answers, I started reading books on my own.

English was my first big challenge. I didn’t have a strong foundation from high school, where most learning was based on memorisation. After high school, everything was taught in English, and rote learning felt like the only way to survive.

That belief slowly changed during engineering school when I began reading books independently. Gradually, concepts started to make sense. I worked extremely hard, and the reading habit I developed during engineering has helped me tremendously even to this day. Curiosity made all the difference.

My master’s degree, on the other hand, felt much easier. The curriculum was assignment-based and focused on acquiring practical, professional skills. My years of work experience helped me grasp concepts quickly.

What inspired you to pursue a tech career abroad?

I have been competitive since childhood. A funny story (🫠) from class two: a teacher once told me I had ranked second in the class. I locked myself in my room and cried the entire day. My mother struggled to convince me that the teacher was joking to see my reaction.

I didn’t believe her. I insisted on seeing the actual marks. Only after checking the papers myself was I convinced. This probably shows how stubborn I was even as a child.

As I grew older, I continued competing with others. That competitiveness still exists, but now I compete only with myself. Learning and challenges make me happy.

Connecting the dots: after working for around seven years in Nepal, I became comfortable in my roles. I wasn’t challenged enough by the nature of the work. I decided to pursue a master’s degree. I initially started in Nepal, but I didn’t like the teaching methodology. That led me to move to Paris.

My motivation was to work in a diverse culture and take my career to the next level.

Which country are you currently working in, and what is your role?

I currently work as a Backend Engineer at Synopsys from the Paris, France office.

How did you prepare for your move abroad?

I prepared both mentally and financially.

During COVID-19, I had a full-time job and also managed freelance projects on Upwork after work hours. The pandemic didn’t affect me personally; instead, it gave me time to reflect and explore new possibilities.

I became obsessed with finding freelance work on Upwork, and that obsession paid off. At one point, I had more work than I could handle and needed help from friends to complete projects. In total, I earned around $20K, which I shared with friends who supported me.

Money was not the main goal. The real gain was confidence—the belief that I could survive anywhere in the world by relying on my skills.

I was also leading a backend team in my full-time job and continued working remotely even after arriving in Paris. This allowed me to cover all my expenses. I’m deeply grateful to my team in Nepal for trusting me, giving me flexibility, and supporting me throughout that phase.

Life wasn’t easy, even though I was mentally prepared. I used to wake up around 4 AM to mentor my team and work for a few hours. During the day, I attended engineering school until late evening. I worked during breaks, continued after returning home, and completed assignments on weekends. It was exhausting for a couple of years.

What was the biggest challenge during your transition abroad?

Mindset.

The way I grew up in Nepal shaped my beliefs and values deeply. Unlearning some of those beliefs and learning new ones required enormous effort and energy. I’m still working on it.

I’ve realised that the solution is not to change everything you know, but to become aware and then consciously choose what serves you best instead of blindly following hardwired patterns.

What differences have you noticed between working in Nepal and working abroad?

Nepali engineers are globally competitive in terms of technical skills. I didn’t see a huge technical gap.

The difference lies more in mindset: ownership, initiative, impact, emotional bias, and the balance between individual and group goals. These differences are often shaped by education systems and culture. It’s not that one is better than the other, it is just a different one.

What has been your proudest achievement since moving abroad?

By my late twenties, I realised that simply moving abroad, getting a job, earning well, and settling down were not things I could be proud of though I don’t dismiss their importance.

My proudest achievement is that I learned to focus on myself at a young age. Living alone in a foreign land helped me understand myself better. Challenges forced me to reflect deeply and rediscover who I am, again and again.

That self-awareness is what I’m most proud of.

What do you wish someone had told you before you left Nepal?

Know yourself before trying something new.

Understanding your values, vulnerabilities, boundaries, strengths, and weaknesses makes decision-making much easier. This awareness saves time, energy, and emotional struggle in every aspect of life.

What advice would you give to someone in Nepal who wants to work abroad in tech?

Invest time in knowing yourself.

If possible, move to a country where you have a true friend. Genuine friendship reduces many burdens: administrative work, housing, cultural adaptation, and emotional loneliness. These small things matter more than we realise.

If you don’t have such support, be mentally prepared to build new connections. It can be emotionally exhausting but it’s possible.

Upload a photo that represents your life abroad.

This photo was taken while I was running along the bank of the River Seine in Paris.

Many things have changed since then jobs, time, friends, relationships. But this place has remained the same. I’ve run here in happiness and hardship, in rain, snow, winter, and summer, without excuses.

The place itself is not special. The feelings, energy, and emotions attached to it are. Those will stay with me forever, even if I move elsewhere.

Photo that reflects your personal journey

You’ll notice that I’m smiling in every picture. I chose these photos because they represent different states of mind from childhood to now.

My teenage photos are missing; I was shy about taking pictures while growing up (and still am). But the smile has always stayed.

Where can readers reach you if they want to learn more or ask questions?

You can reach out to me anytime on LinkedIn. I’d love to hear from you whether it’s about tech, career paths, or even something completely different that you think I could help with. Sometimes, a simple conversation can open up new perspectives or clear mental blocks, and I’m always happy to connect, share experiences, and learn together.

If you enjoyed this story, don’t hesitate to share it. Raw stories are worth spreading & they have the power to inspire others.

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This year pushed me harder than I expected but it also transformed me. Through tough moments, sleepless nights, and honest self-reflection, I became more grounded, more aware, and more resilient. I learned to set boundaries, face my vulnerabilities, and recognize the strength I didn’t know I had.

The journey wasn’t easy. Growth rarely is. But every challenge became a lesson, every setback a chance to rise, and every uncomfortable moment a step toward a better version of myself.

I’m writing this not to share my personal life, but to honor the progress I made and the effort I showed. I own my mistakes, I accept what I didn’t achieve, and I’m committed to doing better. Life won’t always follow my plans and that’s fine. I’ll adapt, adjust, and move forward with clarity, courage, and purpose.

This is my reminder: I’m growing, I’m learning, and I’m not stopping.

I. Emotional Healing & Personal Transformation

Letting Go of a 7‑Year Relationship

A major part of 2025 was accepting the end of a seven‑year relationship. It was a long, painful journey filled with hope, effort, confusion, and emotional turbulence. I tried many approaches to fix what was falling apart, and in that process, I experienced frustration, sadness, and moments where my reactions weren’t perfect. But with time, I learned that letting go wasn’t an act of defeat, it was an act of honesty. Accepting reality allowed both of us to grow beyond what we had outgrown together. The experience taught me how essential communication is: expressing honestly, listening compassionately, and respecting differences even when they’re uncomfortable. Today, I acknowledge the past with peace, without letting it define me, and I move forward with clarity and self‑respect.

Mental Health

Emotionally, the year began in a heavy place. The stress of past years had accumulated, leaving me mentally drained and disconnected from my present. I walked alone through forests, sat under the sun in quiet parks, and wandered along the Seine searching for calm, yet my thoughts followed me everywhere. I felt stuck in cycles of overthinking, almost addicted to my own worries. To cope, I wrote on paper, spoke out loud, recorded voice notes, attended therapy, read books, and leaned on my family through long conversations. These efforts didn’t erase the pain instantly, but they helped me make sense of it. There were still sleepless nights and difficult mornings, but slowly, acceptance took root. I learned that healing wasn’t about forgetting, it was about making peace with the memories and learning to live alongside them. By the end of the year, I felt more grounded, more present, and more aligned with myself.

Physical Health

The emotional weight also impacted my physical health. I struggled to sleep, experienced anxiety, lost appetite, and dropped from 65 to 57 kilos. For a while, I stopped running and stopped caring for my body. But step by step, I rebuilt my strength. I returned to the gym and committed to showing up every day, whether it rained, snowed, or whether my body felt tired. I learned to push with intention and rest with wisdom. In three months, I went from running at speed 13 to maintaining speed 15 for 30 minutes. I completed an 18‑kilometer nonstop run and began preparing for a 25‑kilometer race, with a long‑term dream of reaching 5,000‑meter summits in the coming year. Strength training also helped me regain muscle in my chest, neck, and arms. I significantly reduced sugar, became more mindful about eating, and learned to understand how my body reacts to different foods. My goal of achieving visible abs by my birthday during the music festival is not just about aesthetics, it symbolizes the discipline and care I’ve rebuilt in myself.

II. Connection, Relationships & Community

Reconnecting With People

Beyond my personal healing, this year reminded me of the power of connection. I returned to offering mentorship on LinkedIn, something deeply rooted in me through my upbringing and values. Helping others without expectation felt fulfilling and meaningful. It taught me to listen deeply, show empathy, and appreciate the unique journeys people take. I also reconnected with old friends after seven years of minimal contact. Every weekend, I met someone from my past, spent hours reminiscing, and rediscovered the joy and grounding that comes from being around people who truly know your story.

Accepting Vulnerability

For years, I stayed away from social media out of fear of judgment. This year, I allowed myself to be vulnerable. I shared my experiences, failures, lessons, and reflections openly. Instead of criticism, I received warmth and encouragement. This helped me rebuild confidence and authenticity.

Family

One of the toughest parts of this year was watching my younger sister go through two open‑heart surgeries. It was emotionally overwhelming, filled with uncertainty, fear, and moments where hope felt fragile. But I’m grateful I could be there for her, supporting her during hospital visits, talking to her, and motivating her through recovery. This experience taught me the importance of family, time, presence, and emotional support. It strengthened my relationships with my brother and parents. Today, my sister is recovering well and preparing to pursue her dreams again. Her resilience continues to inspire me deeply.

III. Exploration, Joy & New Experiences

Solo Travel

Traveling alone became one of the most transformative experiences of my year. I visited several cities across France, Amsterdam, and Belgium. Initially, everything felt repetitive, but I later realized my mind was resisting the unknown. Once I embraced uncertainty, solo travel became deeply fulfilling and liberating. One of my favorite moments was visiting a major World War museum on my birthday, it was emotional, humbling, and unforgettable.

Travel With Friends

I also traveled with close friends to beaches, mountains, and vineyards. These trips were refreshing, filled with honesty, laughter, and conversations without judgment. They reminded me of the importance of slowing down and enjoying genuine connections.

Skiing

In December, I tried skiing for the first time. I fell multiple times, bumped into strangers, and felt embarrassed, but I learned a lot about mindset, courage, and resilience. Skiing showed me that trying new things, even when uncomfortable, is essential for growth. We’ve planned a seven‑day skiing course for next December, and I’m excited for the journey ahead.

IV. Learning, Creativity & Professional Growth

Learning How to Learn

My approach to learning transformed this year. I realized I had been reading books incorrectly, rushing instead of understanding. The Coursera course Learning How to Learn reshaped how I study and retain information. Learning became deeper and more fulfilling.

French Language

I invested time in improving my French through online lessons and podcasts. Next year, I plan to immerse myself even more by joining a theatre group, combining culture, language, and expression.

Concerts

I attended three concerts this year, including one with my sister and one by my favorite artist back home. Concerts transported me to a different emotional space , beyond judgment or identity. They reminded me of the power of art and collective energy.

Tech Events

I returned to the tech community by attending major AI and tech events in Paris. Networking with experts, learning about real‑world AI adoption, and discovering new opportunities was incredibly valuable. I plan to join more hackathons and meetups next year.

Content Creation

I shared experiences on LinkedIn consistently for part of the year and created some YouTube content. Next year, I aim to be more consistent, especially by launching a podcast and writing regularly on Substack.

Professional Development

Professionally, I made significant progress in communication, leadership, and confidence. I led meetings, pitched ideas, strengthened my relationships with colleagues and managers, and found my voice in spaces where I once hesitated. I feel trusted, capable, and motivated to take on bigger challenges ahead.

2026 Goals

Health & Fitness

• Run a 25 km race

• Train for 6K‑meter summits

• Maintain treadmill speed 15 for 30 min

• Daily gym routine, six‑pack by my birthday

• Reduce sugar consistently

• Mindful eating; avoid junk

• Attend 7‑day ski course in December

Mind & Presence

• 30 minutes meditation session daily

• Complete 10‑day Vipassana retreat

• Weekly unplugged recharge time

• Continue journaling or voice‑notes

Relationships & Community

• Mentor at least 2 people/month

• Meet one old friend each month

• Maintain daily family calls

• Work to find the right partner

• Reflect, Don’t repeat past relationship mistakes

Language & Culture

• Join theatre course

• Daily French practice

• Attend favorite artist concerts

Learning & Career

• Deepen knowledge in distributed systems

• Attend 5+ tech events / hackathons

• Strengthen public speaking

• Widen the professional connections in LinkedIn

• Keep exploring opportunities outside the work

Expression & Creativity

• Launch podcast series

• Consistent LinkedIn posting

• Write regularly on Substack

• Complete novel chapters

• Join Piano course

Exploration & Travel

• 3 solo trips this year

• At least 4 trips with friends

• Travel once to spend time with family

If any part of my reflection resonates with you, I’m always open to a conversation. If you want to talk about your own journey or need support navigating your next steps, feel free to connect with me. I promise our conversation will be rooted in empathy and understanding.

Connect me on LinkedIn

I began my writing journey in 2015 with a WordPress blog, focusing on Android development and best practices. Over six months, I wrote about ten articles. While I enjoyed sharing my knowledge, I struggled with SEO and didn’t gain many readers. WordPress didn’t feel like the right platform for me at the time.

In November 2016, I switched to Medium, which was becoming popular among writers. Over the next few years, I published 28 articles, many of which were featured on curated lists. This visibility helped me grow my audience, and I even set up a paywall, earning a small amount of passive income. Despite this progress, I struggled with consistency and stopped writing on Medium in August 2020.

Later, I discovered Hashnode, a platform designed for developers. Excited to return to writing, I resumed in January 2023 and published four articles that month. However, I once again lost momentum and stopped writing.

In December 2023, while listening to the Joe Rogan Podcast, I learned about Substack. Inspired by its focus on writers, I decided to give it a try. I started with a few articles, paused for almost a year, and resumed writing last month. So far, I’ve published 13 articles in December alone, not including this one.

Lessons from My Journey

Looking back, I’ve noticed a pattern: I get excited about writing but struggle to maintain consistency. Over the years, I’ve learned valuable lessons, often through trial and error. These lessons have not only shaped my writing but also improved my career as a software engineer. Here’s how writing has helped me:

Clear Thinking for Problem-Solving

As a software engineer, I often face complex problems that require a structured approach to solve. Before I started writing, I struggled to organize my thoughts. Unresolved ideas would linger, causing stress and making it harder to focus on my work.

Writing became my outlet to clarify these thoughts. For example, when debugging a tricky issue or designing a new system, I started writing down my approach as if I were explaining it to someone else. This process forced me to articulate my thoughts clearly, identify gaps in my understanding, and refine my solutions. Writing has become an essential tool for improving my problem-solving skills and mental clarity.

Improved Communication in Teams

English isn’t my first language, and I used to struggle with clear communication during meetings. Whether presenting a design or explaining a complex concept, my ideas often came across as scattered, which slowed down decision-making.

Writing changed that. By structuring my articles with an introduction, explanation, and conclusion, I learned to organize my thoughts effectively. This skill translated directly to my professional life. For instance, when presenting a technical solution, I now use the same structure to explain the big picture, provide details, and conclude with actionable recommendations. This has helped me communicate more effectively, especially during code reviews and team discussions.

Audience-Centric Thinking

In the past, my presentations often failed to resonate with colleagues because I focused only on my perspective. I didn’t consider how others might interpret my ideas, which led to confusion and misalignment.

Writing taught me to think about my audience. When drafting an article, I ask myself questions like:

• Who is my reader?

• What do they know about this topic?

• What questions might they have?

I’ve applied this mindset to team meetings and documentation. For example, when onboarding new developers, I now write documentation with their perspective in mind, ensuring it’s clear and accessible. This practice has saved countless hours of repeated explanations and has improved collaboration across the team.

A Reliable Source of Truth

Software engineering often involves extensive discussions, and it’s easy for team members to have different interpretations of the same conversation. In the past, I found myself revisiting topics multiple times because there was no single source of truth.

Writing detailed meeting notes or documenting technical decisions has solved this problem. For example, during a recent system redesign, I documented every decision we made, including the reasons behind them. This helped align the team and ensured we didn’t revisit the same discussions unnecessarily. Writing has become a way to preserve clarity and accountability in my projects.

Higher-Quality Documentation

As a senior engineer, I’m responsible for creating documents for business stakeholders and team members. Before I embraced writing, my documentation was often vague and unhelpful. With practice, I’ve learned to write clear, concise, and actionable documents.

For instance, when writing a technical design document, I now consider both technical and non-technical audiences. This ensures that everyone—from developers to business leaders—can understand the content. Better documentation has made onboarding smoother for new team members and improved decision-making processes within my team.

Final Thoughts

Writing has been a transformative skill in my journey as a software engineer. It has helped me think clearly, communicate effectively, and collaborate better. Most importantly, it has improved my mental health by providing a constructive outlet for my thoughts.

If you’re a software engineer, I encourage you to start writing—even if it’s just for yourself. Begin with a personal journal or share your experiences through a blog. Writing isn’t just about improving communication; it’s about growing as an individual and a professional.

What are you waiting for? Start your writing journey today.

I was a team lead in one of the fastest-growing e-commerce companies. My team was young and dynamic, with members frequently joining and leaving. Having been part of the team from its inception, I knew every detail about our projects. As the most experienced person, I handled everything—from the inception phase to deployment. My deep knowledge of the system gave me unparalleled insight, and naturally, I became the key decision-maker. Business stakeholders relied heavily on me to provide solutions to all challenges.

But here’s the catch: by doing this, I was unknowingly killing my team’s growth and independence.

The Problem

Over time, my team became entirely dependent on me. Even for minor decisions, team members waited for my approval. This dependency didn’t seem like a problem initially, as we were a small group, and I had enough time to review and mentor everyone. However, as the team grew, things started to fall apart.

I could no longer keep up with reviewing every piece of work or attending every discussion. Simple tasks stalled for days—sometimes even a week—because team members were waiting for my approval. I had become a massive bottleneck, and the consequences became evident when we missed a critical project deadline.

Recognising My Mistakes

At first, I blamed my team. I was frustrated when I realized someone had waited a week for my approval on a small decision. But then it hit me: I had created this culture of dependency. By making every decision myself, I had inadvertently stifled their autonomy. When team members presented ideas, I often dismissed them, even when they were good. My biases and reluctance to accept alternative viewpoints had turned my team into passive executors of my instructions.

One incident still haunts me: an engineer brought a brilliant idea to the table. I rejected it outright without proper consideration. The engineer wasn’t convinced, and I didn’t bother to revisit the idea. Over time, this pattern demotivated my team. They stopped analyzing problems critically because they knew I would deny their ideas anyway. Many of them felt powerless, and some even left the team because they lacked the autonomy they deserved.

Turning Things Around

I realised I needed to change—and fast. The first step was to break the cycle of dependency. I stopped attending some meetings and let the team handle projects on their own. To my surprise, they delivered the project successfully without my involvement. It was a wake-up call: the team could function independently when given the chance.

Next, I stopped reviewing every pull request and gradually let go of tasks that had made me a bottleneck. Initially, the quality of work wasn’t up to my standards, but I accepted that growth takes time. By giving my team the freedom to make mistakes and learn, they gradually improved. They started helping each other, and a sense of collaboration emerged. Witnessing this transformation was incredibly rewarding.

I gave the autonomy to invite me to meetings only if they considered my presence valuable. Even when I attended, I would only provide my opinion at the end, if needed, so they wouldn’t be biased by my thoughts. Most of the time, they made decisions themselves, and I simply suggested improvements if necessary.

I stopped asking for frequent updates on their work. Instead, I told them to approach me only if something was urgent or in a catastrophic situation. Previously, I had asked for tiny details about their work, which created a lack of psychological safety. They felt like I was monitoring their every action, and it pressured them during standups if they hadn’t completed assigned tasks.

I also set up more frequent one-on-one sessions where I let them speak freely. Initially, I would get defensive and interrupt them, especially when they shared negative experiences. Over time, I learned to listen without interrupting, which significantly improved my communication skills. This made them feel heard and valued, fostering a culture where team members started speaking up, sharing ideas, and challenging each other in a healthy way.

I started helping them with their career growth. I did my best to guide them, creating a safety net to support them when things went wrong. I was always there to help them. I empowered them to develop their technical skills and encouraged them to take ownership. When offering suggestions, I framed them as, “If I were in your situation, I might do it this way, but it’s up to you to decide.” This approach created a healthy connection with every member of my team, fostering trust and autonomy.

The Result

Today, my team operates autonomously. They make decisions, solve problems, and deliver projects without constant oversight. My role has shifted from micromanaging to empowering. I now focus on mentorship, helping team members plan their careers, and exploring research and development opportunities to further their growth.

The journey wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. My team isn’t perfect, but they’re thriving, and their independence is a testament to the culture we’ve built together. For me, there’s no greater reward than seeing them succeed without needing me at every step.

I am 31 years old. If someone asks me about my true calling, my answer would be: I don’t know. I haven’t discovered what I truly want to do in life 😢. I can say fancy things just to sound confident 🥷, but when I close my eyes and ask myself, I don’t really know 💆‍♂️. I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery since I became aware of myself.

Between the ages of 20 and 30, I went through many ups and downs. I learned some hard lessons along the way. At that age, I had a lot of energy. I was impulsive, aggressive, egotistic, and arrogant. Arguments and debates were my second nature. I never used to think twice before speaking or acting. I often blamed others for my failures, as I didn’t take the time to reflect on my mistakes.

When I turned 30, things started to change. I began thinking twice before acting. I started doubting myself. I had many sleepless nights where I tried everything to fall asleep, but nothing worked. The past few years have been tough. I pushed my boundaries in many ways: I left my country, joined a university, learned new languages, made new friends, and adapted to new cultures. Everything seemed to happen all at once.

On top of that, I had to search for a job during the post-pandemic period, which was incredibly stressful. I was pushing myself in every part of my life. All of this shaped and evolved my thought process. Things I used to hate, I started to enjoy. Things I avoided, I now do. Beliefs I once rejected, I began to accept.

I started reflecting on my past and asking myself hard questions: How did I end up here? What changed my mindset? I realised that reflection and learning are deeply connected. I’ve learned so much about life and explored different dimensions of personal growth. But I also wondered—why now? Why am I more resilient now than I was before?

I concluded that I didn’t understand learning or its process in the past. I didn’t know what it really meant to learn. I didn’t reflect on what was working, even when I managed to learn something new. My understanding of learning could change in the future, but for now, I believe I didn’t fully grasp it before.

I failed at many things in the past. That doesn’t mean I didn’t try. I did try, but I didn’t understand the learning process. Let me share some stories of my failures:

Dancing

I love dancing. When I dance, I forget everything. I feel like myself, whether it’s at a party, concert, or public event. I don’t hesitate to move when I hear a good beat.

At 19, I received a scholarship for being in the top 10% of students in my exams. With that money, I decided to join a dance school near my home. I practiced for a week and then quit.

At 25, I tried again. I joined one of the best dance studios in town. But I stayed at the back of the line to avoid the spotlight. I struggled to make small moves, and while I laughed at myself, I felt embarrassed watching younger kids dance so effortlessly. After a month, I quit again.

Exercise

I’ve been weak since childhood. I had digestion problems and couldn’t run for more than a few meters without gasping for breath.

At 25, I joined a gym after facing some life challenges. I only lasted a week before giving up. At 27, I tried again, motivated by similar setbacks. I worked out every morning but lacked focus and gave up easily. While my friends made great progress, I didn’t enjoy the process and quit after three months. The pandemic started soon after, but I had already decided to stop.

Swimming

I tried learning to swim at 27. I started with friends, none of whom were experts, but they progressed quickly while I didn’t. After three months, I gave up and never tried again.

Guitar

At 25, I bought an acoustic guitar and tried learning it. After a week, my fingers hurt, and I stopped practicing. I gave up entirely after a month.

Looking back, I realise what went wrong. I compared myself to others, expected quick results, and didn’t understand the uncomfortable reality of learning. I didn’t know that discomfort is a sign of growth or that learning takes time, effort, and patience.

In recent years, I’ve finally understood the process of learning. I stopped expecting fast results and stayed consistent. As a result, I achieved things I once thought impossible:

• I ran 27 km in 2 hours and 45 minutes—not impressive for an athlete, but a huge improvement for me.

• I exercised consistently for a year, rain or shine.

• I graduated with a Master’s in Data Science and Analytics.

• I learned Python, which I now use daily.

• I read technical books and improved my understanding of data structures, algorithms, and system design—something I’ve wanted to do for years.

Interestingly 😁, I haven’t tried dancing, swimming, or playing guitar again—yet! But they’re on my list 😊.

Understanding how to learn is essential for anyone who wants to grow and achieve more in life. Embrace the discomfort, make mistakes, and stay consistent. That’s the beauty of the learning process.

Thank you for reading my journey. I hope it inspires you to discover your own. Love to you all 💚.

If you had the opportunity to be mentored by a good mentor, your first internship must have been a pleasant experience. On the other hand, if your internship was chaotic, it might be something you'd rather not remember. I understand how overwhelming it can be when you step into a new field, with so much to learn all at once.

My Experience

My internship was a disaster. Reflecting on it now, I recall one incident that left a lasting impression. On my very first day, I was asked to build a complex design requiring custom drawings on a canvas. If I faced the same challenge today, I would know how to approach it, but back then, I had no idea.

When my mentor asked for a timeline, I confidently told him I could deliver it in a day—without having the faintest clue about how to do it. Ten years ago, there weren’t many resources available online. The first thing I did after receiving the task was a Google search, but I found nothing useful. There were a few generic blogs explaining basic concepts, but nothing that addressed the specific design I was tasked with.

My mentor kept asking for progress every hour, which added to my stress as the clock ticked away. After hours of fruitless research, I started to panic. I reached out to friends, hoping they might have some ideas, but no one could help. Like me, they were just starting their software development careers and interning at different companies.

Interestingly, back then, friends felt more reliable than Google. After hours of struggling, I came up with an idea to render the design as an image. At the end of the day, I presented it to my mentor. Initially, he seemed impressed but burst out laughing when I explained how I did it. At the time, I felt humiliated, though I can laugh about it now.

Later, my mentor explained that he had wanted a dynamic element where users could interact with the design. That humiliation sparked a determination in me to improve. I've always been competitive, and this experience drove me to work harder. I began dedicating up to 18 hours a day to learning, becoming the first to arrive at the office and the last to leave.

I had no mentor to guide me when I got stuck, so I had to figure things out on my own. Sometimes, I would be stuck on the same problem for weeks. Friends would ask why I seemed unhappy or distant, but I was deeply engrossed in solving problems because I had no one to rescue me. That situation taught me resilience—I learned to stay in the game even when I wasn’t winning. I learned to take steps forward, even when I wasn’t sure I could walk.

The Lessons I Learned

That difficult experience taught me invaluable lessons. Now, as a mentor to others, I strive to be empathetic. Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of mentoring more than 40 people directly. Each experience was unique, and I learned that there is no single formula for creating a great mentor-mentee relationship.

Here are some key lessons I’ve learned to make the mentorship experience better for both sides:

For Mentors

Don’t Assume They’ll Speak Up

Not everyone will openly share when they’re stuck. Some mentees are comfortable asking questions, while others may hesitate due to insecurity or overthinking. As a mentor, it’s your responsibility to check in and ensure they’re making progress. Observe their work and ask questions to validate their understanding. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable reaching out when needed.

Set Clear Expectations

Newcomers might not understand technical jargon. To ensure you’re on the same page, clearly outline expectations—preferably in writing. Check for mutual understanding by asking questions. Without clear expectations, mentees might take an approach that doesn’t meet the project’s needs.

Hold Regular One-on-One Sessions

Feedback is essential for growth. Schedule weekly sessions, even brief ones, to review progress, celebrate achievements, and address areas for improvement. Be prepared to adjust your mentorship style and plans based on each mentee’s unique needs and learning pace.

Make Them Feel Safe

Mentees are more likely to open up if they feel safe. Share your own failures, pair-program with them, and demonstrate that it’s okay to struggle. This fosters a culture of learning and vulnerability.

Adjust Your Communication Style

Each mentee has a unique communication style. Some prefer virtual meetings, while others thrive in face-to-face or informal settings. As a mentor, adapt to their preferences and become a better listener and observer.

For Mentees

Do Your Homework

Be mindful of your mentor’s time. Before seeking help, do your research and try to solve the problem yourself. When you meet, share what didn’t work. This effort shows initiative and makes mentors more willing to guide you.

Don’t Stay Stuck Too Long

If you’ve been stuck for more than a couple of hours, don’t hesitate to reach out. Clarify with your mentor how long you should try independently before asking for help.

Share Your Understanding

Summarise what you’ve learned at the end of each session to confirm you’re on the same page as your mentor. This prevents misunderstandings and saves time.

Don’t Assume—Ask Questions

Software development isn’t a guessing game. If something isn’t clear, ask questions rather than making assumptions.

Take Feedback Constructively

Even harsh feedback is valuable if it helps you grow. Initiate feedback by asking specific questions about your work, such as presentations or code quality, and embrace the insights.

These lessons come from my personal journey over the past 10 years of mentoring diverse individuals. While there’s no guaranteed formula for success, I hope these insights resonate with you. I’d love to hear about your experiences—what lessons have you learned, and what would you do differently if you could turn back time?

Happy Holidays! 🎉

Don’t forget to spend quality time with your loved ones—that’s what matters most. Thank you for reading, and take care! ❤️

We humans are mostly driven by emotions. Often, we are unaware that our thought processes are guided by these emotions. When our decisions are influenced by emotions, there is a high chance of making poor choices. Emotions also have a profound impact on our professional lives. However, this does not mean emotions always harm us. If emotions are utilized positively, such as for empathy or good causes, they can bring meaningful and positive changes to our lives.

Emotions in Professional Life

Let’s connect emotions to our professional careers—specifically, how we feel when receiving feedback from colleagues or managers. Positive feedback makes us happy, but the happiness is often fleeting. On the other hand, harsh feedback is harder to process and tends to linger because our minds are more attuned to negative stimuli. Harsh feedback can make us feel terrible. In the worst cases, it can lead to distancing ourselves from the person giving feedback. We stop listening to them, avoid interactions, and shift our focus elsewhere. These reactions are natural and deeply human.

I have personally experienced this struggle. It was difficult for me to take feedback constructively at first.

Why Do We React This Way?

Why do we respond this way? Why is it so challenging to accept feedback constructively? The answer lies in our emotions. Imagine being in a one-on-one review with your manager, where you’re told you missed deadlines, lack competence, or seem less confident. Hearing such comments can be hurtful. Your brain begins to perceive your manager as a threat. When we perceive threats, we instinctively enter a defensive mode—a survival mechanism ingrained in humans since the Stone Age.

In this defensive state, we amplify the negative meanings of words, replaying them in our minds. Often, we reinterpret the situation to paint ourselves as the hero when we share the experience with others. This need for validation and attention is another way emotions drive our reactions. However, these emotions make us more reactive than receptive, which can backfire. If we are not receptive, we cannot truly listen to feedback, and without listening, we cannot improve.

My Journey to Accepting Feedback

For years, I struggled to take feedback constructively. One-on-one reviews with my manager felt like demotivating experiences. After each session, I would dwell on the feedback for months, interpreting it as a personal attack. Thoughts like “How could he say that to me after all my hard work?” or “Why doesn’t he value my efforts?” consumed me. These emotions caused me to perceive my manager as a threat, leading to stress and disengagement during meetings. I even started doubting his intentions, assuming he was out to make my life difficult.

This cycle lasted for about two years. It reached a point where I realized this mindset was not helping me grow. I needed to think differently and change my perspective.

Shifting from Defensive to Receptive Mode

Changing my mindset was not instantaneous. It required several positive interactions to create a sense of safety with my manager. One turning point occurred when I was struggling to complete a feature that had taken weeks. I explained my challenges to my manager, and he advised me to stop fixating on that single issue and focus on the progress I had made so far. His understanding created a safe space for me.

Over time, there were more instances where he supported me during difficult situations. These moments helped me shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. Gradually, I began perceiving him as a supporter rather than a threat. I started interacting with him more openly, seeking his feedback, and considering his suggestions as helpful rather than critical.

Detaching Emotions from Feedback

When we detach emotions from feedback, we become more receptive. Receptiveness allows us to truly listen to what others are saying. By listening carefully, we realize that feedback is an effort to help us improve. This perspective enables us to see feedback providers as allies rather than adversaries.

Once we perceive someone as a friend or a well-wisher, we create a safe zone with them. This safe space fosters professional growth. Eventually, one-on-one sessions become constructive, and feedback transforms into an opportunity for improvement.

I’ve shared a few situations that helped me change my mindset and take feedback constructively. Of course, there are many other experiences that contributed to this journey, but it’s impossible to include them all in one post.

I’d love to hear about your experiences. How have you learned to take feedback constructively? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

After the lockdown, the working culture in the tech industry changed significantly. All of a sudden, we had to shift to virtual communication. Some people adapted quickly to this new way of working, while others struggled. I was one of those who developed various fears over time.

After the lockdown, I started feeling anxious when speaking in front of more than two people, even in virtual meetings. I would feel strange, my body temperature would rise, and my mind would be flooded with countless thoughts, making me even more stressed. Most of the time, I didn’t make much sense when speaking during stand-ups or team meetings. I barely managed to get through those moments.

Sometimes, when my manager asked me questions, I couldn’t even understand them because my mind was too occupied with stress. I became even more anxious when I realised I was rambling, which only worsened the situation. My colleagues often stepped in to help by speaking on my behalf. I felt ashamed because I had considerable experience in software development, yet I couldn’t articulate my thoughts. It was painful not to be able to express myself properly. My mind and body felt completely out of sync.

Once, while sharing an update, my manager asked a tough question, but I couldn’t focus. I didn’t understand what he was asking and went blank for a long time, creating an awkward silence. My voice was shaky from the stress, and I had to ask a colleague for help. There were many instances like this, where someone else had to speak for me. To my manager, it seemed like a lack of confidence. He didn’t trust me fully because I couldn’t advocate for myself, even though my work was excellent. The problem was that someone else always had to explain the work I had done.

In the beginning, I was very hard on myself. My mental health deteriorated. I stayed awake all night, replaying those incidents over and over in my mind. I lost confidence and stopped believing in myself.

I wanted to break free from this cycle. I began practicing self-talk to clear my mind. I recorded myself speaking for hours, saying whatever came to mind. I read books and recorded my thoughts, but none of it seemed to help me overcome my fear. Even after these efforts, I couldn’t speak confidently, especially during meetings and scrum demos. I felt frustrated with myself and unable to find a way out. Negative thoughts consumed me, and I started believing I would never regain my old self.

One day, I gathered the courage to ask a colleague for feedback about how I was doing in meetings and demos. He said my struggles seemed normal to him. I opened up about everything I was going through and asked for advice on overcoming my anxiety. He suggested practicing more. Sharing my feelings made me feel incredibly relieved, like shrugging off a heavy load from my shoulders. It motivated me to take the initiative and be vulnerable. After that, I started feeling less anxious during meetings.

A couple of months later, I had a one-on-one with my manager. I shared everything I had been struggling with, including my communication challenges and anxiety about speaking to larger audiences, even within the team. We agreed that he would point out areas for improvement whenever necessary. That conversation also left me feeling much lighter. Over time, my fear began to fade. Slowly, I regained my confidence. My heart still races during meetings, but much less frequently now. While the anxiety hasn’t completely disappeared, I’m in a much better place.

This experience taught me a valuable lesson. It took me two years to overcome this situation, but I realised that acceptance is incredibly powerful and can boost your confidence. To overcome any struggle, acceptance is the key. Once you acknowledge that a problem exists, you’re more likely to take steps to address it. Sharing your challenges with colleagues doesn’t make you less competent; instead, it opens the door to support and solutions.

So, I encourage you to be courageous and share what you’re going through with someone on your team. You might not get help immediately, but it will come eventually. Don’t keep your struggles bottled up—expressing them will make you stronger. Speak up, and don’t be afraid. We are all human, and none of us are flawless.

It’s alright to struggle with something, but it’s not alright to stay stuck on the same thing for too long. When you reflect deeply, you’ll realise that we, as humans, are happiest when we are learning new things. Self-discovery is a profound and rewarding journey for any individual. Keep discovering yourself.

Hey Leaders,

If someone expresses the same thing differently in regular meetings, that’s an alarm you should notice. If someone says, “All good,” “I’m good,” or “I agree with you” when asked for their opinion, that’s a red alarm. If someone can’t openly ask questions when they’re in trouble, that’s a red alarm. If someone can’t openly discuss what they’re struggling with, that’s a red alarm. If someone is hesitant to take on difficult tasks, that’s a red alarm. If everybody remains silent in a meeting when you ask for feedback, that’s also a red alarm.

As a leader, it is your responsibility to boost the morale of your team members and create a safe space for them. If you want to be a good leader, you must lead by example.

I’ve observed two types of leaders:

The Title Leader

A title leader believes their team members need to go through challenges the hard way, just as they did. They think their colleagues haven’t put in enough effort to solve problems. During 1:1 sessions, they often blame the team members, saying things like, “You haven’t done enough.”

The Example Leader

An example leader leads by example and empathises with their team. They can sense when someone is in trouble and offer genuine help. They openly discuss their own failures to create a safe environment and put in the effort to support others. Their priority is to boost the morale of their team members.

Jhon’s Story

Let me share a real incident from my company:

Jhon, a software engineer, recently joined the team. He was a self-taught developer with limited experience in software development, having worked in a production factory before transitioning into this field. Initially, he performed well as he was assigned tasks similar to what he had done in his coding bootcamp. He felt comfortable and excelled in those tasks.

However, after a few months, Jhon was assigned a completely different task with a new framework and tech stack. Everything was unfamiliar to him. He struggled significantly and was unable to resolve the issue despite putting in immense effort. He reached out to everyone in the team but received no help, as the team assumed he wasn’t trying hard enough.

In reality, Jhon was exploring every possible solution, including seeking help from online communities, ChatGPT, and StackOverflow, but nothing worked. The situation left him stressed and anxious, and he began taking leave frequently. A month later, feeling defeated, Jhon resigned.

After taking a break to reevaluate his career, Jhon was approached by another company. He decided to give it another shot and was hired. However, he carried many self-doubts into his new role, fearing a repeat of his previous experience.

This time, his manager took a different approach. The manager began by sharing his own struggles and vulnerabilities, creating a safe environment for Jhon to open up. Initially hesitant, Jhon eventually shared his challenges. The manager guided him to the right resources and set clear expectations. Slowly, Jhon regained his confidence and began thriving. He became more proactive, asked questions openly, and started contributing to the team culture. Over time, he even became a great leader, fostering the same supportive environment he experienced.

In the above scenario, the same individual behaved completely differently in two environments.

In one environment, Jhon felt insecure, fearful, unmotivated, and afraid of making mistakes. He couldn’t speak up, reach out for help, or become vulnerable.

In the other environment, he felt safe, supported, and motivated. He thrived, took risks, and fostered the same positive culture.

This shows how leadership shapes careers. Small actions from a leader can have a profound impact.

As a leader, it’s your responsibility to foster the right culture and ensure your team feels supported and motivated. Boost their confidence, create clear career paths, and set clear expectations. Reach out when they’re struggling. If you genuinely care about your team, you won’t blame them for not putting in enough effort. Instead, you’ll guide and support them.

Remember, leadership is a mindset. If you think it’s not your responsibility to nurture and support your team, you’re in the wrong role.

I am not a research scientist or a Ph.D. holder on any particular topic. This is based purely on my personal experiences. I wrote this blog for myself to reinforce my thought process 😉. There may be examples or scenarios that you might disagree with, and that’s okay. This is entirely my experience and journey, which is unique to me. Your experiences might be different, and I leave it to you to decide what valuable insights you can take from it.

I have invested significant time in this article to reflect on what I could have done better to gain more than a decade of experience in just a few years. You might wonder why you should spend your precious time reading this article 😀😀. You could be right—or wrong. To decide, you may skim through a few topics. You might find some parts irrelevant, or perhaps they will resonate with your own experiences. That’s for you to determine.

But I promise you this: you will find reflections on working with diverse people from different cultures and mindsets. These insights are unique and might offer you a perspective you won’t find elsewhere.

Helping Others

I have found very few people who genuinely help their colleagues without any hidden intentions. Most people are often driven by the wrong motives.

Some individuals try to help others with the aim of getting noticed in meetings or in front of a large audience. The motivation varies from person to person. I have met people who invest a lot of energy in gaining recognition, especially when they are new hires in the company. I understand—they want to be noticed, to be known by many people. It’s human nature. Some developers try to impress someone on the team, be it their seniors or their boss. Have you ever noticed a situation where a developer behaves or talks differently when they are in front of their manager or senior? Fortunately (or unfortunately), I’ve had the chance to work with many such people.

On the other hand, some developers genuinely want to help others. They prefer to stay low-key all the time. They are empathetic and truly care about how others feel. They show genuine interest in your challenges and are eager to help, no matter how long it takes. They prioritize your tasks over their own goals. They don’t hesitate to schedule a call to resolve an issue you’ve been stuck on for days.

It’s up to you to decide what kind of developer you want to be. If you help others with the wrong motives, it may work in the short term. But if you aspire to be a valuable software engineer in the long run, it won’t be sustainable. As humans, we are often driven by emotions—be mindful of when bad motives influence your actions, acknowledge it, and strive to improve next time.

Help your colleagues genuinely, without expecting anything in return. This will foster great connections with your team. In the long run, you will build a strong personal brand, as your colleagues will genuinely appreciate and advocate for your support. That’s the kind of brand image that stands the test of time, earning you recognition as a trustworthy and valued team member.

Understand Business

There was a time when I used to value technical knowledge more than understanding the business. I have seen very few software engineers who truly understand their business. Most software engineers simply complete the tasks they are assigned without putting much effort into understanding their customers. As a good software engineer, it is crucial to know your customers in detail: who they are, what they think, how they behave, and how they use your product.

I spent several years following the same approach. With this mindset, we as developers tend to complicate software by adding hypothetical scenarios that are of no use to customers. Customers don’t care about the complex solutions or fancy algorithms you’ve implemented. They only care about the experience—how they feel while using your software.

There are a few engineers who truly understand their customers. They make an effort to learn as much as possible, whether by directly interacting with customers or by fixing the issues customers face. These are the people who become valuable to the team. They can quickly debug and resolve issues because they know their customers well.

It’s essential to have a digital avatar of your customer in mind while building any feature. Software engineers who understand their customers progress quickly within their teams because they can propose solutions that address their customers’ problems. If you truly want to become a great software engineer, start putting effort into knowing your customers deeply and sincerely.

Aware of Personal Biases

You must have seen developers advocating for new technologies, frameworks, or programming languages they are learning or experimenting with. I have encountered many people throughout my career who never tire of discussing the work they are deeply invested in. I have seen people passionately debating whether Steve Jobs was a great developer, salesperson, innovator, etc. I have seen others arguing for hours about Elon Musk, debating whether he is a tech geek or an entrepreneur. I’ve also witnessed people claiming that ChatGPT is the greatest tool ever built in history.

It’s natural to have personal biases toward things we are heavily invested in. However, this behavior can limit you if you fail to realise that you are clinging to the same idea. It can backfire when you resist changing your mind, even after hours of discussion over a colleague's implementation details. You may become blind to your own idea, resisting change no matter how much better your colleague’s suggestion might be. You’ll end up listening just to respond, rather than truly listening to understand.

It’s much easier to work with software developers who are aware of their personal biases. Such developers listen actively and adopt plans based on what is better for the product rather than imposing or influencing others with their ideas. The tendency for personal biases often increases with years of experience in software development.

To become a great and valuable software engineer, you must be aware of and acknowledge when you are investing excessive energy into shifting decisions based on your personal biases.

Speaks up

We humans are not naturally accustomed to raising our voices when we see something wrong. This mentality is shaped by our upbringing and how we grew up as children. Speaking up may not come naturally if you were raised in a culture where staying silent about wrongdoing was the norm. On the other hand, if you grew up in a culture that prioritizes individuality over the group, you may be more likely to take action when you discover something wrong.

This mindset plays an important role in the career of a software engineer. Learning to speak up within your team adds great value. For example, if you discover a critical bug in your application while working on a task, and you are someone who is not accustomed to speaking up, you might continue working on your task and wait for someone else to prioritize the bug. In contrast, if you are someone who speaks up, you would log the bug, take action to fix the issue, or delegate it to someone in the team to resolve.

The good news is that this mindset can be shifted with effort. Sports like boxing or jiu-jitsu can play a significant role in fostering this change. You can also improve by consistently bringing small improvements in your project to the team’s attention.

Willingness to Go the Extra Mile

I have worked with colleagues who hesitate to go the extra mile when needed. I have seen them defending their limitations by saying, “It’s the limitation of the framework,” or, “It’s the limitation of the operating system,” and so on. I understand that there are some problems with genuine limitations where investing too much effort yields little value. However, if you consistently limit yourself in such circumstances, it can become a habit. This habit will eventually make you more defensive and content with mediocrity, hindering your progress in the long run.

As a good software engineer, you need to go the extra mile when the product demands it. For instance, there might be a performance issue that requires deep, intensive research into database management systems. It could take you months of reading white papers on relational database management systems to find a solution. However, this habit of going above and beyond will teach you invaluable skills along the way. It will make you a valuable member of your team.

Shares Knowledge

Software engineers often hesitate to share what they have learned. Some fear being judged, others may not want to appear vulnerable, and some might lack the habit of deeply understanding technology.

Many software engineers avoid being vulnerable in front of others. They may worry that people will change their perception of them if they cannot answer questions during a knowledge-sharing session.

Others may not have the habit of fully understanding what they are doing. They might rely heavily on resources like StackOverflow or ChatGPT to solve problems. In such cases, they may be reluctant to share knowledge because they don’t fully understand the reasoning behind using a particular piece of code in the first place.

Sharing knowledge requires great courage, but it is also one of the best ways to learn quickly. When you share knowledge, you put in the effort to understand the technology you’re working with in order to explain it to others. This process significantly deepens your understanding of the technology.

I am grateful to you if you made it to the end. The content in this blog alone won’t be enough to make you a great software engineer. There are countless things you need to learn and be mindful of to excel in this field.

To be a good software engineer, you first need to be a good human being. For me, being a good software engineer is a mindset—one that requires lifelong learning to evolve from good to great.

I wish you all the best on your lifelong learning journey. ❤️ Love you all ❤️

It’s not that I dreamt of becoming a software engineer as a child. I wasn’t a computer geek, nor was I a gamer. I stumbled into the tech world by accident. In the beginning, I struggled a lot, even with basic concepts. Understanding C programming during my undergraduate studies was a nightmare. I was often the last person left in the computer programming lab at engineering school, trying to figure things out. It was stressful and made me feel inadequate. I genuinely thought I’d never be able to write even a single line of code in my life.

I didn’t understand what my professors taught and lacked the courage to ask questions. Without a firm grasp of programming fundamentals, data structures and algorithms felt impossible to comprehend. Most of my peers considered me too weak to understand programming. To make matters worse, I didn’t have a computer or laptop at home to practice. I practiced programming on paper and managed to pass exams that way, though it made little sense to me at the time.

Where I am today is the result of self-driven learning throughout my career. The hunger to grasp deeper concepts never left me. I’ve always wanted to understand, in detail, how computers work and accomplish tasks. That curiosity has kept me motivated after all these years.

I’m not an expert or a "10x software engineer," but I have a deep love for learning and continually pushing myself to grow in this field. Here's a brief reflection on 10 years of my journey, captured in words.

2013

I began my career building web applications with PHP, CSS, HTML, and JavaScript. It was an exciting time, and the thrill of hosting my first news portal on GoDaddy remains unforgettable. Back then, tools like FileZilla were popular, though I wonder if anyone still uses them now!

One of my most vivid memories is discovering Stack Overflow. My friend and I were stuck on a problem and, after seeking help from mentors, we were introduced to this online forum. I was amazed by people who were helping each other for free!

2014

After completing my undergraduate studies in computer engineering, I faced a tough job market. Despite applying for over 100 jobs, I landed only four interviews. I was nervous and unprepared, failing to answer even basic questions.

My break came through a friend's referral to a small company looking for interns. The pay was minimal, but the experience of debugging others' problems boosted my confidence immensely, preparing me for better opportunities.

2015–2017

I secured my first full-time role as an Android Developer, and it was a steep learning curve. I worked tirelessly, often late into the night and on weekends, absorbing as much as I could. This phase taught me the value of hard work and the importance of staying curious.

In 2017, I moved to different country for a new role. However, the cultural shock and my own introversion made the experience challenging. Unable to adapt, I returned home, reflecting on my resilience and perseverance.

2018

Joining a mobile app development firm marked a turning point. I played a significant role in improving processes and practices, and I also began focusing on my personal growth—reading books, observing my mind, and prioritising health. These lessons have stayed with me ever since.

2019–2020

In 2019, I started my own company, which, despite its failure, taught me invaluable lessons about entrepreneurship and resilience. I transitioned to backend development at a health startup, which rekindled my passion for learning and growth.

2021–2022

Moving to Paris for my Master’s in Computer Science was eye-opening. I met people from diverse backgrounds and discovered weaknesses in my communication skills. An internship at a top data company exposed me further to my limitations, motivating me to improve.

2023

The year began with a daunting job hunt—over 300 applications and countless rejections. But perseverance paid off, and I landed a role at a leading tech company. Along the way, I honed my problem-solving skills by practicing on LeetCode, turning setbacks into stepping stones.

2024

This year has been about consolidating my growth. I earned my AWS Associate Solution Architect certification and resumed writing to improve communication skills. Seeing my family after three years and climbing a 4,130m mountain with my sister were personal highlights.

Time flies so fast. It has been more than 10 years since I started my journey in software development, yet it feels like I began just yesterday. Despite the experience I’ve gained, I can’t point to a single day where I’ve felt truly proud of myself or fully satisfied with my growth. Each day brings its own struggles, moments of fun, and a sea of unknowns. Even now, I find myself anxious, relying on resources like Stack Overflow and GitHub sample projects to navigate new technologies and frameworks.

The feeling remains the same, even after all these years. There hasn’t been a day when I’ve felt completely confident in myself or where I’ve excelled in meetings or discussions. Every day is an opportunity to learn, to explore, and to discover a new dimension of who I am. Each day presents a fresh challenge.

I used to believe that with experience, the struggles would diminish—that there would come a day when I’d feel at ease. But that day hasn’t arrived yet, and I’m not sure if it ever will. Perhaps this is just the nature of the journey, and the feeling will stay with me forever.

When planning a feature or application, a well-structured technical design document is essential. It ensures clarity, facilitates team collaboration, and helps anticipate potential challenges.

When I start working on any feature, I have a habit of creating a technical document, even for simple features. This practice helps me think early about the aspects I need to work on. I enjoy creating these documents because they provide a common ground for discussions with my team. The best part is that it keeps conversations focused and prevents them from going off-topic.

These documents are incredibly helpful for me and my team as they contain all the technical details and explain why particular technical decisions or technologies were chosen at the time. They serve as a record of everything our team considered during the feature development process.

Although this type of document is heavily influenced by backend development, you can tailor it based on your team’s context. Here’s what a robust design document should include:

Data Model

The data model is the backbone of your system's design. It should include:

• Database tables: Define the schema, attributes, and relationships.

• Updates and changes: Detail column additions, removals, or transformations in existing tables.

• Version tracking: Maintain an updated record of changes to ensure alignment among team members.

Example for a Login API

• Table Name: users

• Attributes:

  • id: UUID

  • email: string (email format)

  • password: hashed string

  • verified: boolean

API Design

API design must be clear and exhaustive, allowing teams to work independently and ensuring alignment. Here’s what to include:

• Route: Define the endpoint path.

• Method: Specify HTTP methods (e.g. GET, PUT, POST, PATCH).

• Request: JSON structure expected in requests.

• Response: JSON structure for successful responses.

• Error Codes: List potential HTTP status codes and their meanings.

Use tools like Swagger to document APIs. API documentation enables frontend and backend teams to work in parallel, reducing dependencies and fostering early feedback.

Example:

• Route: /login

• Method: POST

• Request

  { "email": "user@gmail.com", "password": "password" }

• Response

  {

  "id": "7327fe0d-4904-48f2-8120-6dd69011b219",

  "email": "user@gmail.com",

  "verified": true,

  "access_token": "access_token"

  }

• Error Codes

  • 200: Success

  • 401: Unauthorised

Swagger Document Example

Business Logic

Business logic should outline

• Algorithms and workflows: Detail processing steps.

• Special cases: Specify edge cases and how they are handled.

• Alternatives: Provide pros and cons of various approaches to foster discussion.

Example, For a hypothetical login API, allow only users above 18 years to log in. Validate the user's date of birth against the current date.

Performance and Scalability

Design documents should address

• Performance: Define how the system ensures low latency and efficient resource utilisation.

• Scalability: Detail how the system will handle varying loads (e.g., auto-scaling mechanisms like AWS Lambda or Kubernetes).

Example, For a login API expecting high traffic during peak months, consider serverless options like AWS API Gateway and Lambda, which scale automatically based on demand.

Security Considerations

Security is paramount in API design. Cover aspects like

• Authentication and Authorisation: Use JWT, API keys, or Basic Auth as needed.

• Rate Limiting: Implement rate limits to prevent abuse (e.g., DDOS attacks).

• Encryption: Ensure sensitive data, like passwords, is encrypted both at rest and in transit.

Example, For the login API, rate-limiting prevents repeated login attempts and reduces the risk of brute-force attacks.

Error Handling and Logging

Proper error handling and logging help in debugging and analytics.

• Error scenarios: Define how to handle failures (e.g., third-party API outages).

• Logs: Identify what needs to be logged (e.g., failed login attempts, successful logins).

Example, Log activities like:

• Failed login attempts.

• Repeated login failures exceeding a threshold.

• Successful logins for analytics.

Risks and Mitigations

Anticipate potential risks and define mitigation strategies. For example Third-party API outages can be potential risk for your application which can be mitigated by implementing fallback mechanisms or retries.

You can use this template as an example for your work and modify it as needed. This document may not cover every case, as there could be additional aspects to consider and discuss before starting the work. Therefore, you should tailor it to suit your specific requirements.

Design Document Template

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A design document can vary in length depending on the nature of the feature being developed. Its scope may also depend on the company and the individual developer. In some organizations, good practices involve maintaining every tiny detail in technical documents.

However, it is always better to create a design document before starting your work. This practice clarifies what needs to be done early in the process and helps address unknowns before execution, making the approach more efficient. Such documents encourage critical thinking ahead of time, which is invaluable for your growth and progress in your career.

Consistently maintaining these types of documents fosters better habits over time, promotes team harmony, and facilitates more effective brainstorming within the team.

When I started my career, I thought documentation was boring and unnecessary. I believed my productivity was measured by how many lines of code I wrote daily. When my mentor told me about the importance of documentation, I ignored it. I didn’t understand how useful it was until many years later.

After working in different companies and teams, my thinking about documentation changed. I realised documentation is a powerful way to share information, even when people are not available to talk.

Imagine you need to explain a topic to your team members or a newly joined colleague. This requires you to express your thoughts clearly and thoughtfully, reinforcing your understanding of the subject. Doing so will help you become a critical thinker and train your brain to understand topics more deeply. It will also encourage you to see things from others’ perspectives, enabling you to make unbiased decisions within the team.

Don’t write documentation just for the sake of it. It should be readable and meaningful for your audience. Thinking from your readers’ perspective is a valuable skill for any software engineer.

In this blog, I want to share my experience and why I now believe documentation is very important and will share some document types which will save several hours of your team.

Onboarding Document

Two years ago, I joined a big tech company working on simulation domain. The company had a good onboarding course for employees, but they didn’t have proper project documentation.

For example

• There were no architecture diagrams to show how the system worked.

• There were no data flow diagrams to explain how different microservices communicated.

• Key information about the project was not written down.

I had to ask my teammates the same questions over and over. This wasted a lot of time for me and my team. If they had a proper onboarding document, it would have:

• Saved time for everyone.

• Helped new developers understand the project quickly.

• Made the team more efficient.

A simple document with diagrams and key information can make onboarding much easier.

Design Document

I didn’t have habit of creating technical design documents for long time. As a result, I often faced unexpected problems while coding. After I started writing design documents, my work became much smoother.

Here’s how it helped:

• Clear Planning: I understood the task better before starting.

• Team Collaboration: Sharing the document helped my teammates give feedback early.

• Problem Solving: I identified issues during the planning stage instead of during coding.

Creating design documentation made me think more carefully before starting work. It also improved communication with my team. I will share a simple design document template in my next blog post.

Technology Choices Document

Have you ever wondered why your team chose a specific technology? Over time, it’s easy to forget the reasons. That’s why it’s important to document the decisions your team makes.

Here’s why this is helpful:

• Future Reference: When someone asks “Why did we choose this technology?” you’ll have an answer.

• Consistency: It provides a framework for making future decisions for other members in your team.

• Independence: The team doesn’t depend on one person’s memory or opinions.

A good technology decision document saves time, avoids confusion, and helps teams make better decisions in the future.

Coding Guideline (Don’ts) Document

When reviewing pull requests, it can be frustrating to give the same feedback repeatedly. To solve this problem, you can create a coding guidelines document.

Tips for creating coding guidelines:

• Focus on the don’ts. A short list of things to avoid is easy to remember and very effective.

• Keep the document simple and clear.

• Share it with new team members to help them follow the rules from the start.

This makes code reviews faster and reduces the need for repeating feedback. It also improves the quality of the code.

Major Changes Document

When you make big changes to a project—like upgrading a framework or database version—it’s important to document the process. If you don’t, you might face the same challenges again in the future.

Here’s what to include in the document:

• What changes were made and why.

• Problems you faced and how you solved them.

• Steps for upgrading in the future.

This document can save hours or even days of work for your team when similar changes are needed later.

Documentation is not just a tedious task—it’s an investment in your team’s success. It saves time, fosters collaboration, and creates a shared knowledge base. Over time, you’ll see the benefits, just as I did. Stay tuned for my next blog, where I’ll share a detailed template for technical design documentation!