Hey Mentors and Mentees: Be Aware! The First Step in Software Development Can Go Wrong
Mentorship is a collaborative effort. It can go wrong if both mentors and mentees don’t put in the effort to build a pleasant relationship. The mentor's role is more crucial in this journey.
If you had the opportunity to be mentored by a good mentor, your first internship must have been a pleasant experience. On the other hand, if your internship was chaotic, it might be something you'd rather not remember. I understand how overwhelming it can be when you step into a new field, with so much to learn all at once.
My Experience
My internship was a disaster. Reflecting on it now, I recall one incident that left a lasting impression. On my very first day, I was asked to build a complex design requiring custom drawings on a canvas. If I faced the same challenge today, I would know how to approach it, but back then, I had no idea.
When my mentor asked for a timeline, I confidently told him I could deliver it in a day—without having the faintest clue about how to do it. Ten years ago, there weren’t many resources available online. The first thing I did after receiving the task was a Google search, but I found nothing useful. There were a few generic blogs explaining basic concepts, but nothing that addressed the specific design I was tasked with.
My mentor kept asking for progress every hour, which added to my stress as the clock ticked away. After hours of fruitless research, I started to panic. I reached out to friends, hoping they might have some ideas, but no one could help. Like me, they were just starting their software development careers and interning at different companies.
Interestingly, back then, friends felt more reliable than Google. After hours of struggling, I came up with an idea to render the design as an image. At the end of the day, I presented it to my mentor. Initially, he seemed impressed but burst out laughing when I explained how I did it. At the time, I felt humiliated, though I can laugh about it now.
Later, my mentor explained that he had wanted a dynamic element where users could interact with the design. That humiliation sparked a determination in me to improve. I've always been competitive, and this experience drove me to work harder. I began dedicating up to 18 hours a day to learning, becoming the first to arrive at the office and the last to leave.
I had no mentor to guide me when I got stuck, so I had to figure things out on my own. Sometimes, I would be stuck on the same problem for weeks. Friends would ask why I seemed unhappy or distant, but I was deeply engrossed in solving problems because I had no one to rescue me. That situation taught me resilience—I learned to stay in the game even when I wasn’t winning. I learned to take steps forward, even when I wasn’t sure I could walk.
The Lessons I Learned
That difficult experience taught me invaluable lessons. Now, as a mentor to others, I strive to be empathetic. Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of mentoring more than 40 people directly. Each experience was unique, and I learned that there is no single formula for creating a great mentor-mentee relationship.
Here are some key lessons I’ve learned to make the mentorship experience better for both sides:
For Mentors
Don’t Assume They’ll Speak Up
Not everyone will openly share when they’re stuck. Some mentees are comfortable asking questions, while others may hesitate due to insecurity or overthinking. As a mentor, it’s your responsibility to check in and ensure they’re making progress. Observe their work and ask questions to validate their understanding. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable reaching out when needed.
Set Clear Expectations
Newcomers might not understand technical jargon. To ensure you’re on the same page, clearly outline expectations—preferably in writing. Check for mutual understanding by asking questions. Without clear expectations, mentees might take an approach that doesn’t meet the project’s needs.
Hold Regular One-on-One Sessions
Feedback is essential for growth. Schedule weekly sessions, even brief ones, to review progress, celebrate achievements, and address areas for improvement. Be prepared to adjust your mentorship style and plans based on each mentee’s unique needs and learning pace.
Make Them Feel Safe
Mentees are more likely to open up if they feel safe. Share your own failures, pair-program with them, and demonstrate that it’s okay to struggle. This fosters a culture of learning and vulnerability.
Adjust Your Communication Style
Each mentee has a unique communication style. Some prefer virtual meetings, while others thrive in face-to-face or informal settings. As a mentor, adapt to their preferences and become a better listener and observer.
For Mentees
Do Your Homework
Be mindful of your mentor’s time. Before seeking help, do your research and try to solve the problem yourself. When you meet, share what didn’t work. This effort shows initiative and makes mentors more willing to guide you.
Don’t Stay Stuck Too Long
If you’ve been stuck for more than a couple of hours, don’t hesitate to reach out. Clarify with your mentor how long you should try independently before asking for help.
Share Your Understanding
Summarise what you’ve learned at the end of each session to confirm you’re on the same page as your mentor. This prevents misunderstandings and saves time.
Don’t Assume—Ask Questions
Software development isn’t a guessing game. If something isn’t clear, ask questions rather than making assumptions.
Take Feedback Constructively
Even harsh feedback is valuable if it helps you grow. Initiate feedback by asking specific questions about your work, such as presentations or code quality, and embrace the insights.
These lessons come from my personal journey over the past 10 years of mentoring diverse individuals. While there’s no guaranteed formula for success, I hope these insights resonate with you. I’d love to hear about your experiences—what lessons have you learned, and what would you do differently if you could turn back time?
Happy Holidays! 🎉
Don’t forget to spend quality time with your loved ones—that’s what matters most. Thank you for reading, and take care! ❤️