How I Was Killing My Team and What I Did to Fix It
Your team looks up to you in every situation. It's your responsibility to set the right example because failing to do so can backfire. Reflect on your actions—you might just be the bottleneck.
I was a team lead in one of the fastest-growing e-commerce companies. My team was young and dynamic, with members frequently joining and leaving. Having been part of the team from its inception, I knew every detail about our projects. As the most experienced person, I handled everything—from the inception phase to deployment. My deep knowledge of the system gave me unparalleled insight, and naturally, I became the key decision-maker. Business stakeholders relied heavily on me to provide solutions to all challenges.
But here’s the catch: by doing this, I was unknowingly killing my team’s growth and independence.
The Problem
Over time, my team became entirely dependent on me. Even for minor decisions, team members waited for my approval. This dependency didn’t seem like a problem initially, as we were a small group, and I had enough time to review and mentor everyone. However, as the team grew, things started to fall apart.
I could no longer keep up with reviewing every piece of work or attending every discussion. Simple tasks stalled for days—sometimes even a week—because team members were waiting for my approval. I had become a massive bottleneck, and the consequences became evident when we missed a critical project deadline.
Recognising My Mistakes
At first, I blamed my team. I was frustrated when I realized someone had waited a week for my approval on a small decision. But then it hit me: I had created this culture of dependency. By making every decision myself, I had inadvertently stifled their autonomy. When team members presented ideas, I often dismissed them, even when they were good. My biases and reluctance to accept alternative viewpoints had turned my team into passive executors of my instructions.
One incident still haunts me: an engineer brought a brilliant idea to the table. I rejected it outright without proper consideration. The engineer wasn’t convinced, and I didn’t bother to revisit the idea. Over time, this pattern demotivated my team. They stopped analyzing problems critically because they knew I would deny their ideas anyway. Many of them felt powerless, and some even left the team because they lacked the autonomy they deserved.
Turning Things Around
I realised I needed to change—and fast. The first step was to break the cycle of dependency. I stopped attending some meetings and let the team handle projects on their own. To my surprise, they delivered the project successfully without my involvement. It was a wake-up call: the team could function independently when given the chance.
Next, I stopped reviewing every pull request and gradually let go of tasks that had made me a bottleneck. Initially, the quality of work wasn’t up to my standards, but I accepted that growth takes time. By giving my team the freedom to make mistakes and learn, they gradually improved. They started helping each other, and a sense of collaboration emerged. Witnessing this transformation was incredibly rewarding.
I gave the autonomy to invite me to meetings only if they considered my presence valuable. Even when I attended, I would only provide my opinion at the end, if needed, so they wouldn’t be biased by my thoughts. Most of the time, they made decisions themselves, and I simply suggested improvements if necessary.
I stopped asking for frequent updates on their work. Instead, I told them to approach me only if something was urgent or in a catastrophic situation. Previously, I had asked for tiny details about their work, which created a lack of psychological safety. They felt like I was monitoring their every action, and it pressured them during standups if they hadn’t completed assigned tasks.
I also set up more frequent one-on-one sessions where I let them speak freely. Initially, I would get defensive and interrupt them, especially when they shared negative experiences. Over time, I learned to listen without interrupting, which significantly improved my communication skills. This made them feel heard and valued, fostering a culture where team members started speaking up, sharing ideas, and challenging each other in a healthy way.
I started helping them with their career growth. I did my best to guide them, creating a safety net to support them when things went wrong. I was always there to help them. I empowered them to develop their technical skills and encouraged them to take ownership. When offering suggestions, I framed them as, “If I were in your situation, I might do it this way, but it’s up to you to decide.” This approach created a healthy connection with every member of my team, fostering trust and autonomy.
The Result
Today, my team operates autonomously. They make decisions, solve problems, and deliver projects without constant oversight. My role has shifted from micromanaging to empowering. I now focus on mentorship, helping team members plan their careers, and exploring research and development opportunities to further their growth.
The journey wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. My team isn’t perfect, but they’re thriving, and their independence is a testament to the culture we’ve built together. For me, there’s no greater reward than seeing them succeed without needing me at every step.