The Ugly Truth About Learning
Understanding how to learn is essential for anyone who wants to grow and achieve more in life. Embrace the discomfort, make mistakes, and stay consistent. That’s the beauty of the learning process.
I am 31 years old. If someone asks me about my true calling, my answer would be: I don’t know. I haven’t discovered what I truly want to do in life 😢. I can say fancy things just to sound confident 🥷, but when I close my eyes and ask myself, I don’t really know 💆♂️. I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery since I became aware of myself.
Between the ages of 20 and 30, I went through many ups and downs. I learned some hard lessons along the way. At that age, I had a lot of energy. I was impulsive, aggressive, egotistic, and arrogant. Arguments and debates were my second nature. I never used to think twice before speaking or acting. I often blamed others for my failures, as I didn’t take the time to reflect on my mistakes.
When I turned 30, things started to change. I began thinking twice before acting. I started doubting myself. I had many sleepless nights where I tried everything to fall asleep, but nothing worked. The past few years have been tough. I pushed my boundaries in many ways: I left my country, joined a university, learned new languages, made new friends, and adapted to new cultures. Everything seemed to happen all at once.
On top of that, I had to search for a job during the post-pandemic period, which was incredibly stressful. I was pushing myself in every part of my life. All of this shaped and evolved my thought process. Things I used to hate, I started to enjoy. Things I avoided, I now do. Beliefs I once rejected, I began to accept.
I started reflecting on my past and asking myself hard questions: How did I end up here? What changed my mindset? I realised that reflection and learning are deeply connected. I’ve learned so much about life and explored different dimensions of personal growth. But I also wondered—why now? Why am I more resilient now than I was before?
I concluded that I didn’t understand learning or its process in the past. I didn’t know what it really meant to learn. I didn’t reflect on what was working, even when I managed to learn something new. My understanding of learning could change in the future, but for now, I believe I didn’t fully grasp it before.
I failed at many things in the past. That doesn’t mean I didn’t try. I did try, but I didn’t understand the learning process. Let me share some stories of my failures:
Dancing
I love dancing. When I dance, I forget everything. I feel like myself, whether it’s at a party, concert, or public event. I don’t hesitate to move when I hear a good beat.
At 19, I received a scholarship for being in the top 10% of students in my exams. With that money, I decided to join a dance school near my home. I practiced for a week and then quit.
At 25, I tried again. I joined one of the best dance studios in town. But I stayed at the back of the line to avoid the spotlight. I struggled to make small moves, and while I laughed at myself, I felt embarrassed watching younger kids dance so effortlessly. After a month, I quit again.
Exercise
I’ve been weak since childhood. I had digestion problems and couldn’t run for more than a few meters without gasping for breath.
At 25, I joined a gym after facing some life challenges. I only lasted a week before giving up. At 27, I tried again, motivated by similar setbacks. I worked out every morning but lacked focus and gave up easily. While my friends made great progress, I didn’t enjoy the process and quit after three months. The pandemic started soon after, but I had already decided to stop.
Swimming
I tried learning to swim at 27. I started with friends, none of whom were experts, but they progressed quickly while I didn’t. After three months, I gave up and never tried again.
Guitar
At 25, I bought an acoustic guitar and tried learning it. After a week, my fingers hurt, and I stopped practicing. I gave up entirely after a month.
Looking back, I realise what went wrong. I compared myself to others, expected quick results, and didn’t understand the uncomfortable reality of learning. I didn’t know that discomfort is a sign of growth or that learning takes time, effort, and patience.
In recent years, I’ve finally understood the process of learning. I stopped expecting fast results and stayed consistent. As a result, I achieved things I once thought impossible:
I ran 27 km in 2 hours and 45 minutes—not impressive for an athlete, but a huge improvement for me.
I exercised consistently for a year, rain or shine.
I graduated with a Master’s in Data Science and Analytics.
I learned Python, which I now use daily.
I read technical books and improved my understanding of data structures, algorithms, and system design—something I’ve wanted to do for years.
Interestingly 😁, I haven’t tried dancing, swimming, or playing guitar again—yet! But they’re on my list 😊.
Understanding how to learn is essential for anyone who wants to grow and achieve more in life. Embrace the discomfort, make mistakes, and stay consistent. That’s the beauty of the learning process.
Thank you for reading my journey. I hope it inspires you to discover your own. Love to you all 💚.